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“Jet engine hand-dryer”

Women’s, C grade

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Appearance: It’s not the most aesthetically appealing of loos from the outside and not all that easy to spot from the street if you’re in need of a pitstop. Once inside, the lime green cubicle doors were both unexpected and unwelcome.

Smell: There’s no nice way to put this – it stank. Of poo. It was just horrendous. If that smell was just the work of one person, they need to see a doctor. Immediately.

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Paper: Terrible 1-ply, thin and rough.

Flush: Very strong.

Washing: The soap is horrible – the dispenser squirts out bubbles which do nothing but disappear into your hands. And the hand dryer? Brace yourself for the most powerful hand dryer experience of your life. It was so powerful that it made the skin on my hands wrinkle and dance. It was actually quite painful but the dancing skin made me stick around until the aforementioned smell got too much.

Best: The dancing skin.

Worst: The smell. So thick I could almost taste it.

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