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“A murder mystery”

Mens, B+ grade

Appearance: Heavy on rustic woody charm. No frills generally but included a lock that appeared to be straight outta Oamaru. Cheeky little touch of steam punk there, you sly devils.

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Smell: It took me back to my days of alfresco toileting as a child where I refused the comforts of the conventional indoor set-up. We’ve all been there, right? The scent of the outdoors was probably due to a half-open window with some nosy foliage poking its way in for a better view.

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Flush: As hearty as you would imagine from such a traditional establishment.

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Washing: Compact hygiene facilities with the sink parked in the corner. Lupin fresh soap to tease the nostrils.

Paper: Nothing but the good stuff – at least three-ply.

Best: Maybe it was just the time of day I visited or perhaps it was my jovial frame of mind but the sun appeared to just dance off the fittings. On any other occasion, the sound of reveling tourists may have been off-putting but on this occasion it nourished my soul as I stretched out my legs. A cathartic experience, to be sure.

Worst: There was a bit of blood on the bog-roll dispenser. It may have been tomato sauce. A taste test proved inconclusive

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