“The filthy Tardis”
Unisex, D grade
Appearance: This loo was opened with much fanfare and media coverage (yes really) in 2016 to stop tourists peeing in residents’ gardens while hiking up Baldwin Street.
The loo sits like a Tardis that landed unceremoniously in the middle of the footpath, ready for you to board. But unlike the Tardis, the only mysterious aspect of this loo is finding the door. Once in, you quickly realise you wish you’d leapt over the fence to do your business in the nearby babbling brook instead, or just like the good old days, gone in someone’s garden. Anything would be better than this:
According to the cleaning schedule sign, it was cleaned the day before we reviewed it, but since it’s on a main student thoroughfare, is it any surprise we found it in this condition?
Smell: Due to the extreme ventilation, both at the top and bottom of the walls, the neutral morning air wafted serenely through this loo. This was great until you realise people are taking their morning stroll about 50cm from where you sit and due to said ventilation, everything is audible.
Now at this point you might be saying, ‘What? It’s not that bad.’ Bear with.
Paper: Wafer thin and ripped off with indecent haste by the previous user.
Flush: Strong enough to suck you down with it.
Washing: This is where the D grade really comes into play. There was no hand sanitiser in the inside dispenser, and no handwash in the strange contraption outside. I find it hard to believe this had all been used up in the 24 hours since it was cleaned. Pretty grotty for a loo that will soon once again be welcoming busloads of tourists, all (hopefully) with greater post-Covid hygiene expectations.
Best: The ventilation was this loo’s saving grace.
Worst: The feeling of yeurgh! I got from being inside this loo that made me run straight to my car and douse my hands in sanitiser, then set them on fire just in case.
Bog Standard 